The Best Laid Schemes of Mice and Men

13 January 2013

After resurrecting the blog, and laying out a plan for writing on the trip, nothing went quite as expected. Adapters that didn’t work with the laptop I’d brought. No working Wi-Fi. A packed schedule. All of these things and more meant I was forced to go old school, experience the trip, snap pictures, and write notes in my omnipresent Moleskine. 

Over the next few days I will be posting stories to their respective dates, better late than never. Thank you for your patience!

"The thing that's so great about Miami, is that it's so close to the United States."

I prefer to fly out of the city I live in whenever possible, but sometimes the monetary savings makes it worthwhile to depart from somewhere nearby. In this case it was significantly less expensive to get direct flights out of Miami International (MIA), but it also tacked on a three hour drive to each end of the trip. On the surface, not a bad deal, but when you’re trying to get to the airport two hours early, in a city you’ve never been to, where signs are less than helpful, long-term parking is full, and a single street can have three names, the cost savings become less important as the volume with which I’m slinging profanities increases. We are the last two people to arrive, making check-in cutoff by minutes. Thankfully we fly through security, arriving at the gate at the same moment they announce our row for boarding. Perfect!

I fly Delta and their partners nearly everywhere, primarily because they fly out of Sarasota, and I prefer to dance with the devil I know. I expect lousy service, uncomfortable seats, no leg room, and to have to pay through the nose for every little thing. My coworker, friend, and new travel planner and companion, DJ, found a great deal from MIA to DXB (Dubai) with a 12 hour layover in LHR (London – Heathrow) on Virgin Atlantic, and through four legs of the trip, three of them were absolutely flawless. When I say flawless, I mean off-the-chart incredible, not compared to Delta, but if I were asked to create a mental image of my perfect experience, this would be it. I’ll cover the one bad time shortly, but it was situational. To start, they call for boarding from the back of the plane to the front. Genius and convenient! They have two bouncers at the gate that verify you have a ticket for the rows called, if not, they kick you back out to the waiting area. Such fun to watch! Then there are the ticket takers, and you board. The planes are clean; the people are truly friendly and very attractive, and everything you could want is included in the price. I didn’t pay a dime to watch new release movies on demand, get food and drinks, check a bag, and that would be enough to make it great. I also got a small kit with socks, a toothbrush and paste, earplugs, a blindfold, and other things to make the flight more comfortable. Fantastic!

Unfortunately I didn’t get much sleep due to some significant, high-level turbulence. I could’ve popped a Xanax and slept straight through it, but opted not to. I’m already getting excited about being back in London. In a few short hours, we’ll be meeting up with DJ and Stacey, getting a shower and fresh clothes, and grabbing a pint and a bite to eat at The Anchor. Then I will be spending the afternoon playing tour guide to three first timers in one of my favorite cities.

What I'm Doing Instead of Packing

As is typical of my pre-travel routine, I’m up EXTREMELY late the night before. Packing, prepping, postulating, and pondering the possibilities of the trip. Whiskey in one hand and an e-cig in the other, I try to figure out what the hell I’m in for, which will ultimately never resemble the experience I’m about to have. Anyone who knows me knows I’m completely incapable of making or adhering to a plan. I am the very example of the boxer entering the ring with a plan, Joe Louis is credited with saying, “Everyone has a plan until they’ve been hit.”

I tend to get “hit” early, and then it’s just a matter of going along with the ride through some really interesting adventures that always bring some sort of insight, then heading home. This time is a little different in that it’s really three trips in quick succession. Miami to London, for fish and chips and really good beer at any number of pubs, no worries, should be fun. After that I exit my comfort zone and end up in locales that present possible challenges. Dubai has always been on my list of places to visit, but culturally different in every possible way than I’m used to. I’m excited, but concerned about screwing up some protocols that I’m unaware of. I don’t want to be a “rude American,” I want to be a responsible and accommodating world traveler. I have similar concerns about Kochi, and while likely unwarranted, still something nagging in the back of my head.

Off to grab some shut-eye before getting up to run some last minute errands, pack, and drive to MIA.

Back in the Saddle Again...Going Where I've Never Been

Another epic trip is upon me, and I have been asked to dust off this old blog. I don’t apologize for letting it go, if anything, coming back to it was a bit nostalgic. I’ve also learned enough from past experience that I make no promises to subsequent posting after the trip, much less a schedule for such. At the same time, who knows…I’ve been looking at getting away from Facebook, maybe this is an avenue for that?

Back to the point of the post, the trip! The short version is driving from Sarasota to Miami; then flying from Miami to Heathrow; Heathrow to Dubai; Dubai to Kochi, and returning more or less the same way. We will be spending some amount of time out and about in each stop, not just a layover, but getting out of the airport. Sounds like fun, right? Wrong! Try to pack for late December London, and equatorial India…not easy, I say. That being the worst part, I’m not complaining too loudly. #FirstWorldProblems

All of this is to say that if you want to follow along and see what there is to see, this is the place to do it. I’ll probably post a couple of short blurbs to talk about what I’m taking and what I’m not, just to knock the rust off of writing. As always, I hope you enjoy, and if you have thoughts, comments, suggestions, feel free to post in the comments. I’ll check them as able.

FBI probing Fannie…

FBI probing Fannie…

http://www.reuters.com/article/fundsFundsNews/idUSN2341763520080924

The beginning of the most apropos headline Reuters has ever published. In an effort to simplify the U.S. economy, and the insanity surrounding it, I will use the old adage, “It's one big shit sandwich and we're all gonna have to take a bite.”

Democrat, Republican, Communist, or Libertarian, $700 billion is plenty to go around, and that is just the bailout. What effects will this have on the credit crunch, the GDP, the stock and bond markets? None. Well, not none, just none that will be noticeable. For example, most U.S. citizens won’t hear the jokes Mexicans are making about how great the peso is exchanging against the dollar.

The Chinese and Japanese are going to shit, because they’ll be sitting on over $1 trillion in U.S. debt, made nearly worthless as the national debt increases again.

Additionally, much like when Florida added the “No smoking in restaurants” amendment to the state constitution, NO FUCKING LAWS ARE ENFORCING IT! Everyone admits there’s a problem with the mortgage brokerage and securities issue, but no one has solved it. Much like a movie in which someone has been stabbed in the chest, and there is another character who can magically bring them back to life. For whatever reason, no one has bothered to pull the knife out of the dead person’s chest first!! You can bring him back to life, but he’s gonna die again when you extract that sharp piece of steal that is cleaving his aorta in half. Fix the problem, then try to resuscitate.

Last, but not least, Fannie and Freddie officers fucked up. If they had worked at Enron, charges would be pressed, and they would be found guilty. So where’s the problem? Nail their asses to the proverbial wall. Yeah, right, it’ll never happen. Why? Because, the two companies exist in order to keep the market stable, and so people feel comfortable in mortgage-based securities. If you indict the leadership, who will you get to run it in the future, and it will be run in the future. For years, private companies have wanted to compete with the two Macs, but the special tax treatments have left the two Macs nearly without competition. Why? Who has it benefited?

In short, please buckle your seatbelts, put your seat backs and tray tables in their upright and locked position, it’s about to get a little bumpy.

No loan for you!

I was just reading an article yesterday about Ford offering the Fiesta in Europe that gets 65 miles per gallon. (Kiley 2008) They claim it would not be profitable here in the U.S., because it is clean diesel. I understand that diesel is more expensive than regular right now, but when put it into perspective, I think there is a market here.

If we assume the Fiesta has a 11.9-gallon tank at a national average of $4.02 per gallon, it would be $47.84 for a full tank of diesel. (DOE 2008) That tank will yield 773.5 miles. In comparison, the Toyota Prius Hybrid gets around 47 mpg, at a national average of $3.84, and the tank is 11.9 gallons for a cost of $45.70. (Edmunds.com 2008) That tank costs $2.14 less, but loses 221 miles per tank.

Based on the demand for the Prius in the U.S., I feel reasonably confident Ford could make the Fiesta work in this market.

Department of Energy. Gasoline and Diesel Fuel Update as of 15 September 2008. Retrieved on 16 September 2008, from the World Wide Web: http://tonto.eia.doe.gov/oog/info/gdu/gasdiesel.asp

Edmunds.com. 2008 Toyota Prius Base Model. (2008). Retrieved on 16 September 2008, from the World Wide Web: http://www.edmunds.com/new/2008/toyota/prius/100920099/researchlanding.html

Kiley, David. Business Week. The 65 mpg Ford the U.S. Can’t Have. (2008). Retrieved on 16 September 2008, from the World Wide Web: http://www.businessweek.com/magazine/content/08_37/b4099060491065.htm?chan=rss_topStories_ssi_5

Enough With the Drilling Talk Already

Offshore oil drilling in the Gulf of Mexico is the equivalent of giving methadone to heroin addicts. It creates methadone addicts! It will not wean people off oil; it will ruin beaches, which will reduce tourism, ultimately lowering revenue and thereby tax income. It is predicted there is 18 billion barrels of crude oil under the Gulf of Mexico, and if we could access all of it, every drop, it would last 870 days, at the current 20.7 million barrels used per day. That is 2.4 years worth of oil, which would be great, except it is expected to take between 5 and 10 years to have the equipment setup to drill. Here’s the rub, if we still need oil in 5 to 10 years, the game is already lost.

In an effort to skip the middle part of the process, namely ruining the environment in order to put a Band-Aid on a wound that had better be long since healed, let’s skip to the end and reduce tax income. I know the government does not need to lose tax income, but isn’t a year or five worth of subsidies better than the long term damage that will be wrought by an “environmental accident”.

Here is my proposition, starting with the 2009 auto year, the first car manufacturer to field an entire line of electric, hybrid, or high-efficiency cars and trucks will be allowed to write off all U.S. federal and state income tax from the sale of these products and the licensing of their technologies to other companies in the following tax year. A product line is being roughly defined as the entire product offerings for retail sale, encompassing at least five styles: coupe, sedan, pickup truck, SUV/cross-over (or comparable), and one that is the company’s prerogative. None of the gasoline-powered vehicles can have less than 85 miles per gallon to qualify, while electric and hybrid must have a range of 400 miles, and no other vehicles may be sold. Additionally, consumers will be able to take a deduction on the sales tax from purchasing these vehicles.

This program will last five years, each year a different measurement will be used to determine the car company that has done the most to further the effort. For example, the 2010 product lines could be judged based on average efficiency for the total product line, and by the 2013 lines, it could be the first company to use only renewable energy sources. The key here is to create S.M.A.R.T. (specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, and timely) goals and incentives for the automotive manufactures, foreign and domestic. Additionally, by making the sales tax, tax deductible, the price comes down and the units sold will go up. Within the five years, an estimated 85% of the cars on the road would be high efficiency vehicles that will not necessarily require a completely new infrastructure immediately. However, if hydrogen stations are needed, for example, the savings on income tax will generate the funding necessary to make it happen. The results will be cleaner air, a safer environment, and a cultural shift in our dependency on oil.

Now seriously, is that so hard?